Today is the day when Lynn had her virgin pool experience with Qing and I.


Quite a delightful day with the two of them in the afternoon and such Qing was 'devastated' that I didn't want to go dinner with him because (quotes) "Eating alone is fucking boring sia". Talked about big houses. About getting the Platinum Arcade card (whereby you have to top up an accumulated amount of 1000$). Counting to the amount of dollars needed for the Gold card, which, at this rate, we will be getting in approximately 2 months time.
I miss silly conversations.


Have to cut it short I suppose. Am tired in a way. Sometimes being mean is the only way to be nice to a friend. Oh well, it's just the perspective. Someday others may see it.


How I'm craving for a million things to eat in this world. Pre Menstrual Syndrome is the pits.

ofblack&white
9:59 PM

I fell off the bicycle on the way home because the road was bumpy and because I was holding a phone to my ear as well. Yep, no thanks to losing my earpiece.


I had tuition at ten and eleven at Kovan Macs with Lynn and Pei En. Thankfully they know each other so there's no awkward talks and such. It's quite fun actually. I was dragged, note that I was DRAGGED, to the arcade by Lynn and man if Math is fun then I don't know what to describe it. She screamed like a raped queen on House of Dead 2. Dainty? Lynn? NO. Had a few games here and there. Parkway's better.

Which reminds me, yay. Tomorrow is pool and arcade day. Will ask Teo along. We're playing buddies please. He'll be insulted if I don't ask him.



I bothered Naz by going over her's just for a forty winks and a book and of course, company. Haha! (:


Yesterday I had a conversation with Jien. I was mercilessly teased. I complained to him about Udin and his annoyance and what can Jien say?
"Oh there's something about you that calls to be teased. maybe the way you react? But very fun to bully you ah".


Sigh. Though I kinda miss his antics. Haha if only I'm not going KL on Sunday I could take up on his invitation but well as it goes, KL here I come.



I really want to get hold of a very nice version of My Funny Valentine. That is SUCH a romantic song. I've got Sinatra's version, the original. But I want something nicer. Like CHET BAKER'S. Love love that version, but I don't have it ):


I was surfing around when I saw this looong thing. Ok call me emo but I think it's a nice read. Especially there's this line inside, to whomever you think it concerns.

ofblack&white
8:54 PM

Yep. Three posts in a day means I am BORED. I went out with Qingrui again. Embarrassingly saw Elke (embarrassing because she said "Hi Ili" and I said "hi" back, but I totally forgotten her name). Won some lose some.


Anyway to put a stop to wandering minds and wild thoughts, JUST BECAUSE I FIND DAMSEL CUTE DOESN'T MEAN I FANCY DAMSEL. Ok? Sigh and to think I was the one with the wildest dreams.

ofblack&white
10:43 PM

No first prize for guessing who's that. I was happy. Haha!




The other clique of mine. Lovable, and I kind of resent the fact that they're at least 3 years younger than me LOL!




The new future of soccer (:




Girls: Hazel Khay Fana.
Guys: Qing, Jien, Ongbak.




Stupid class!



Stupider student! (lol)



Cool huh.


Hello again.

ofblack&white
8:49 AM

Tummy aches. You know how it goes don't you, big fat rotary blades churning your insides until everything is a pulp. Sad that the blades are not discreet enough to not let me feel the pain.
Sigh. That tomyam. Shouldn't have ate that fiery tomyam that may taste fantastic but brought about painful consequences.
And I mean PAINFUL consequences.


I met Sir Juff yesterday for coffee and such, then saw Syirah and Dee. Big hugs around please. I kept forgetting her dad owns Action Toyz. Qing called up for pool or arcade though I wasn't up for any.


I think that funny infection breakout is happening on my hands again.

Crappy days are starting. Haha anyway yesterday I got a cat to bite and scratch me like no tomorrow because I pinch and tickled it's tummy too oft. Ha!


Off to a bit of cycling (:

ofblack&white
7:20 AM

Of hammering hearts. We'll get back to that later.


Hello world! It rained cats&dogs boys&girls puppiesincollar(as he said) last night and isn't it hell of a wonderful thing for it to rain! Cooling; and it washed the world of it's sins.


Random that is, but no matter. Sunday was fine, I managed to escape home and meet with Lynn. She's full of nonsense please as any student of mine but anyway she studied Economics while I finish up my book. She cam-whored more than me. That's saying something. I spent almost four painful hours (joking Lynn, before you take to heart and not meet me anymore) with her and we went to Sans to grab us books to kill Boredom, which is like a juggernaught. I've gotten myself Nadia Knows Best, a Michael Connelly and a very cheesy-looking book.


Anyway yesterday was longish, yet nice and simple. Tuition then meet up with some old friends and all.


Before my computer threatens to shut down again; of hammering hearts. You know that sensation when you see someone and your heart just went into a gallop that would make other racehorse envious. Sadly it's the entirely wrong person. Must stop.


Motor prac today yay. In a nice cooling weather, hope there isn't a need for ugly yellow raincoats. Urgh.

ofblack&white
11:18 AM

Hello. A bad night yesterday doesn't necessarily constitutes a bad day today. I was up so early my brain just died. Meet pok at Paya Lebar after some very silly train incident. Lol!


We planned to meet at 0800 hrs ar Boon Lay but Zhong Cara and I was late. We saw a sea of green at the control station. I think their jerseys are way too bright. Anyway Fico Sports Hub was like the other end of the world yet it's a comfortable place. Not properly developed yet but the courts are lovely. Apart from thousands of millipedes crawling around like nobody's business. Zhong was annoying to bother me about them.


We drawed 2 games and lost one, went into the Diva La Futbol cup but lost anyhow. Not that I bother about the lost, we want to get home early. I love artificial grass its so damn nice to play on but not pleasant when you fall. I had a good time, really. Played with my teammates, bother juniors and such. Got few scratches here and there from the falls but it's shitload of fun please. We played recre during the breaks and how I wished nearer to the east have something akin to this. Nurul suggested playing cage and I so agree to that.

Cara Kwok gave me her lucky draw number because she doesn't have any interest in the prize unlike me. And guess what, I won! Haha with her number. ((: Won a pink/black/gold lotto soccer ball and a shoe bag. Elated would describe what I'm feeling at that point of time.


I tricked Zhong into taking the bus which takes almost twice the duration of that the train. 30! From Boon Lay to Bedok please. I learned quite about her serious side. Am having a movie cum pool session after her midyears (:



I haven't mention this previously but damsel-in-distress is so damn cute. Who's damsel? Figure out yourself.

ofblack&white
7:03 PM

To rant would be an obvious waste of space but it is my space so fuck that. I am just annoyed. Have I said how much I hate Fridays?


I had a long day and the bastard comes along and makes it worse. Like there's only a limit to how much one can take. Yes, being a fucking male, you push the blame to others. Ohh, 'sorry' was never an option for you was it?
Fuck lah all I want to do is cry. Being a typical chauvinist, any explanations were deaf on his ears. Fuck that. Screw you men and your fucking ego. The world could be whole fucking better without all that. And I don't need anymore bastards coming up to me and say oh that applies to only a few but fuck you all of you beings with fucking penises are the same piece of shit. All you ever wanted was to be heard and never say much sorry. To be right. Fuck you, if being right makes you feel a whole lot fucking better then fine, be right then. Even the most reserved of males have that whole I'm-better-than-you-my-life's-better-than-yours-my-school's-better-than-yours bullshit and typically being blind to others. Fuck you. Fuck you cunts and your pride and fucking nonsense I'm really at the breaking point that if you push me just by a single inch I'll fucking castrate you and hang you upside down on your balls.


Like fucking hell I'm so tired of trying to understand whatever's going through his ultimately miniscule mind and the whole silver lining fuck. just so frustrating that I want to cut. Cut. Cut. Punch. Just vent it out. This is such an ultimately low that all I ever felt like doing right now is lie down and disappear into some deep dream that could make me happy. Fuck. Can anything remotely cheer me up at this point deserves a fucking Noble prize.


Why the hell should I explain myself when nobody listens. Fuck you.

ofblack&white
10:22 PM

I just realised yesterday that playing is as tiring. Three of us met for 4 hours of pool and 2 hours of arcade. I tell you, arcade was awesome shit fun. There's this great airplane game where your whole chair moves like crazy. I like! And that's one of the games where I can beat Qing in. House of Dead 4 is good as well. I don't know what other words besides good to use, pardon the lapse in vocab. The graphics was phoarr but sadly Qing's gun was spoilt so he was cursing as usual.


I reached home at 11 last night due to tuition.



Today was mentally exhausting. I'm tired of teaching Anna seriously. Sometimes she seemed so uninterested especially when there's Mima and CJ aka annoyance around. I'm very couldn't-be-bothered-with-her so that's good. Halfway through she just gave up and not want tuition. Happily I obliged. Anyway Lynn and Siok Wen also had sessions today. They're nice students who deserves MARS BARS. Haha! If she don't want to study then it's none of my business who do I look like her mom?! Haha and she can even ask me where's her present, since her birthday was yesterday. I just gave her a look and said, "Am I obliged to give you something?"

I know I'm getting more angsty and have a spot of AP but there's a point where you can't exactly be bothered to be bothered you know.


I am going to have a very long day tomorrow. Screw. Five tuitions and a motor practical will definitely make my day. What's more two H2 students. Yep. Definitely making my day.


Somehow I learn getting that getting through whatever that's in front of you gives you the most satisfaction because you can say that you survived through it no matter how bad it is.

To every cloud there's a silver lining.



Digression. It's something funny I said to Vincent.
"Tutors. We have a license to brag you know."

HAHA. That's quite a hilarious albeit conceited line but come to think of it it's quite true because tutors are able to say in your face that you suck, and probably do a question they've been attempting for a decade within a few minutes.
But of course I don't do that to my kids, or else they'll just go home and cry.

And there's something about bullshitting I won't go into because MUN will call me a fraud.




Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season.

ofblack&white
9:37 PM

I had tuition at God-forsaken Esplanade. I got lost going there. It's a new student. Huiqi and Chan Mayyee was there so I joined them at Macs Suntec after. On the way I got lost.

Anyway that's not the point.


The point started when I stepped into HMV and I bought SYSTEMATIC CHAOS. If you haven't read my gushings over it in some many previous posts, it's Dream Theater's ninth studio album.

One word: Mind-blowing.


It's so MIND-BLOWINGLY good. Everything is just... God to put it in words is such a task. It's good. It's good. It's so fucking good. There's everything inside. The newer heavier Metallica-influenced, somewhat like Train Of Thoughts, to those classic melodies and crazy crazy riffs and pedals and EVERYTHING ELSE. I'm in love with it. It's soothing yet fierce. The opening to In the Presence of Enemies is awesome, Petrucci and his solos. Prophets Of War is so damn catchy in the DT way. Repentence is slow and haunting. All in all, fucking awesome.


Just so fucking good.

ofblack&white
10:11 PM

So yesterday we did play pool. Long hours please. Met Raqeeb at Bedok MRT and there's that funny affair of waiting for the shuttle bus to Parkway only to run helter skelter after 31 that breeze by our noses. Haha! Accompanied him for lunch and such. Am so tempted to buy that cargo pants from S&K, even got my FINANCIAL ADVISOR'S (Naz) approval but sense got the better of me. Haha he offered to buy it for me please! But of course I won't allow it... as usual.


Headed to Classics then slowly they joined like trickles of water. Din is the MOST ANNOYING asshole. I used to have that impression of him in secondary four and I thought maybe during the years we never converse he had matured but NO. He bothers people worse than my brother, and that says alot. I remember there's once I threw tons and tons of books at him (the A Math text for one) and he can still tease me. Lol. Fana left early-ish to fetch her boyfriend. We played from 130 till six please. Ran the tab up to 40+$ and Raqeeb annoyingly paid for it. I really felt bad because I asked him to come along so he can meet my friends. Well, at least he enjoyed their company.


After he went off we sat at our favourite BK.



The things Math can do for you. Late last night I was angry for some reason or other but anyway, doing APGP Summation and MI were kind of soothing, so to speak. Weird I know. Had to oil the rust. Anyway it was comforting that I could do them with flying colours. If only I had attempted some and succumb to that laziness, maybe I wouldn't be such washout.

Regret is fruitless. Move on.




I had three sessions today, the one with Rachel Ong was three hours long. THREE FREAKING HOURS. I could have just died but perseverance strive. It was H2 math. Imagine the horror of doing APGP Summation and MI for three whole hours. Haha.


Had Mun then Anna. Went off with Mun.
I learnt about micro expressions. And all about sunburn. IF YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE AGAIN I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR HANDS. Bothered cats and I turned down an invitation for dinner. Am proud of myself (:


Took my SGC already. People say it sums up your two years in a junior college but as far as I remember it doesn't include memories and such. What summing up of years are they talking about I can hardly comprehend.



I'm going to need an early night. The day starts at ten and ends at nine.
Save me. By the way, Katherine Hiegl is. so. damn. hot.




But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
Wanna hold him
Maybe I'll just sing about it.

ofblack&white
7:30 PM

Hello. (: I need to mention that Sarah Bibi Mahmud Munshi's house is SO big, considering it just a condominium. But yea, it's super huge. Plus her cats are adorable. And a slanted pool table, ping pong table. Lol.


Anyway the Desaru trip was postponed to next week, which I can't make it due to DIVA LA FUTBOL. I'm partially excited for it, yet dreading it. I cannot imagine myself running around much, what more in boots that hasn't been worn for months on end. Got to do something about it.


I spent the earlier of yesterday with Farn; breakfast a bit of pool etc. Then the rest of the day and night over at Naz's. We talked till the wee hours. Anyway baked chocolate fudge cake. Delicious ok. I'm not that bad in the kitchen or anything. Just exaggeration on Naz's part.


Sometimes I ponder over what I have done. Sometimes intentionally hurting for my own selfish needs. Sometimes using for my wants. I hope this doesn't change the perception peopl have for me. Most of my actions, there's always strings attached to it, no matter how I try to undo it. It's like pre-made order inside me. Hidden agendas and such. I use. You know, I often use people to achieve whatever I set my eyes on.
Which is bad. That's a habit I find myself slowly breaking out of, which is good. Haha.
Which brings me to another reason of why a password have to be in place so no Tom Dick Harry would come and OOOHH AAAAAHH and gossip like bitches.

Mun is back, super sunburnt and all and refuses to get out of house because she's got a tan, she's as black as her Mr D. How exciting.


Off for pool again soon, with Farn Qing and Udin. ((:

ofblack&white
10:48 AM

Wow. Torrential rain today. Why wasn't it yesterday while someone walked home? Haha!


It was indeed a good day yesterday. We played pool from 1 till 5. He claimed he haven't played for a year yet beats me for most of the game. I'm not exactly complaining, since he used to clean sweep and trashed me. Now we're quite on par. Yeehaw. And we went arcade. Qing managed to persuade me to get the 10$ card with 10 free game credits. We spent forty minutes on ONE game where we completed the whole thing. Power dah! God knows how many free game credits I used on that. Probably 7. It was really fun lah, all that cursing from him and screaming from me. It's supposed to be a game for couple and it checked the compatibility. It wrote us as classmates. Wow technology is really accurate. There's this cool airplane game where you have to launch missiles and shit at the opponents and I beat him to that. Plus Time Crisis 4. Gosh the graphics are good please. And I beat him to that too. Haven't the chance to play House Of Dead 4.

Then I had a nice not-so-quiet dinner with Tiny at AMK. I'm being nice to have the dinner locations at her area yet she curses the buses that I took. I managed to hop on a bus only at 2115 hrs. I'll really drag her to Airport aka the-other-end-of-the-world one day.



Anyway very short notice I'm off to Desaru with Naz for the weekends. So fun going off holidaying. My students were in disbelief when I hastily resched all their sessions. Ha. Tutors are human too. Talking about that, Rachel Ong wants tuition. Sadly it's H2. I'm seriously reconsidering on teaching H2. Which I need to prepare myself for; like finishing TYS and that Red book and be familiar inside out with everything, even crappy APGP and Vectors. Quite lucrative. And a fairly tough challenge. But I'm kind of up for it. How fun would it be to think I can't do C Math for nuts last year and hey presto this year I can give Lee Muah Khing a run for his money.

LOL that's a thought to consider.


Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you.

ofblack&white
10:22 AM

Hello. These days I haven't had much of a good sleep. In the midst of going out, giving tuition, saving money and such was the cause I suppose. And dreams, I'd call some a nightmare.


Of dreams. I'm a muddled person. Dreams sometimes seemed so real that I cannot differentiate between imaginary and reality. It spooks me to have that sort of thing happened you know, because I dare not speak out when I'm with Society. Because I may mistook a dream for a memory. It happened at times, annoys me so because I have to take a moment to ponder over it. I don't know if others felt the same way too maybe they do and maybe they don't. Like today, I had a nightmare in a dream. 'Tis funny, I remember what it's about. Worms, caterpillars crawling happily merrily ever after in my house. You know how I loathe those crawling creatures. Wherever I ran I saw them; big and small, coming towards me. I tried waking up but to no avail. And when I really woke up I was frantically looking around.


Stupid ramblings of nothing above. Haha! Today is off day! I don't have to painfully wake up at 8. It's painful, sleeping relatively late and getting 1 AM CALLS FROM PEOPLE and not being able to sleep much after, then having to wake early. Oh well.


Responsibility. I don't know when it appeared in my life but responsibility is something I'm not used to. I could merrily change the timings of work if it is of inconvenience to me, or if I'm feeling lazy. But Responsibility got the better of me. That and Conscience, they make the most lethal tag team and it's so hard to shake it off because it remains with you forever. I so missed the days when I could ask money without and guilt feeling or do as I please without anything gnawing. Well we change as we grow. Now at least I used my own dough for any purchases. Apparently conscience reminded me how hard my parents had to work to earn, only to be fruitfully spent by their ever-spending daughter.


Which brings me to another subject, spending is an addiction to me. It came to me while I was sitting in the bus. I had a lot of good thinking through in buses. So anyway, addiction. Yes, spending is a dangerous addiction. I realised that. I realised spending is a way for me to assert power, or to feel secure, or whatever. It's just that. It was hard to not spend yesterday (which I didn't, hurrah!). Like Anna said maybe I should leave my wallet at home but I'm crippled without money. It's really a sense of security. If I'm lost, I can get a cab. Likewise if I'm lazy. If I'm hungry I'll lavish myself with food (I realised I spent most on food, so fasting is the only way to break that habit). If I'm in some emotional turmoil hey, there's retail therapy.
Which proved costly.


Maybe I should check in for rehab. I'm sure the receptionist at the rehab would gawk and laugh.
Maybe an example would illustrate...

Ili: I'm checking in for rehab.
Recep: Alright. It's good to start curing now, don't you think? So what's your condition; drugs, alcohol, violence?
Ili: Er, spending.


That doesn't sound right at all. I have a tremendous lack in will power, which I am going to change over the next months or so. Imposing my own rules and drawing lines doesn't really help, because I kept making excuses and cross the lines. Hell, I'd even erase the lines.


To more sunshine-y topics, it's quite a surprise Theo Ching Ray (Teo Qingrui) can be a gentleman. He must be desperate hahaha since he is super bored at home and no one's having holidays and is free except for me.
Maybe he could treat me to pool. Lol.
And there's Banquet for dinner at AMK hub. Funny thing is I asked Vincent and Anna if there's a banquet IN amk hub but they said not inside, but near Central. Oh well. If xiaomei got me lost I'll kill her with the jellyfish I bought for her.




Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness...

ofblack&white
9:34 AM

ofblack&white
9:06 AM

'Twas a happening day if I may say so. Drat that brat Naufal who had me in school by 10 for tuition. Then Lynn had a session too. With Say lingering around, I have one corner shouting "YESSA BAIK BETUL I CAN DOOO IT" and the other yelling "WAHLAO KAK I CANNOT DO LA DEY".
Don't ask.

I had lunch with Lynn afterwards at Kovan. She got so much gossip please, and an atrocious taste in men. Sigh.


I was running late as usual to meet them at TM. Shrek 3 was such a laugh please! Haha I kept pinching Shazreen because she kept squealing at the nice parts and telling us beforehand (she watched it before). I love Snow White's bizarre scream at those trees. It was so cute! Hahah and the Puss In Boots. Yan tried to imitate but of course he's not cute enough to pass it off. The four of us went LJS after that since Heider had to go off. Izkandar was 24/7 getting annoyed because Shaz didn't give him a chance to speak much. LOLOL!


Oh ya we went to the arcade. House of Sin. Explains why I overshot my budget for the day; means I cannot spend for tomorrow, Friday and the weekends. But the arcade was good for the sole reason that Akira was there. OHMYGOD he/she served me at the counter, look at me in a cute way and asked if I still remember him. Haha I feign ignorance and said maybe, haha! Which spoils it for me maybe. Good looking ah in that mixed chinese-malay-spiky-hair-boyish kinda way. Damn, last year he did ask for my number but I kind of didn't. Which is crap, because I should.
Damn. Lol.


Sigh, long-ish day tomorrow still. Tuition at 10, had to run off to Dhoby by 2, reach AMK by 3, have tuition till 7 from then. Never mind, off day on Thursday! A whole day of pool with Qing and maybe Osha and Isna, then dinner with xiaomei! <33

Life gets better as it goes. (:

ofblack&white
10:29 PM

I foresee busy weeks ahead giving tuitions to the desperate and needed. Anyway had a session with Mun at ten supposedly, we ended up starting at 11. So I am suppose to be proud of her doing what, all of 21 questions that she voluntarily did. HAHA don't get anything below a B or else.


I cycled there and she decided to be Rose (is it Rose, from Titanic?) at the back of my bicycle. If only she would freeze and drown. Objective achieved today! I spend less than 5$, took quite a lot for me to stop buying anything and I've gotten FREE lunch over at Mun's household.


Then of course AMK for Vincent. Haha he shook his head at my new shoes. The nerve he had to do that! I finally tasted one of them big gums and chewed the hell out of it. It is not as hard as it look and feel like. (: I blowed bubbles while he suffered.


It got pretty funny over at grandma's when I was trying to convince my aunt that the scarf she wanted to buy look like minah Malaysia. In the end she bought it anyway. See, the spendthrift is in the blood.


Of unexpectedness. It's like cycling you know. Waiting to negotiate a blind corner. You turn and most often it was nothing you've never seen before. But sometimes you get caught by surprise, whatever you see is as surreal as well... seeing a bear looming in front of you. The point is, life's like that too. I made a turn in Life and suddenly the unexpected hit me and I never know how to react to it; likewise or other. Kind of peculiar to think about it no? Haha!


Melancholy is getting the better of me. Cannot be like this! Haha must sing and dance around like Mary Poppins singing songs like twinkle twinkle little star.


Shrek 3 tomorrow!

ofblack&white
9:03 PM

): I'm still sad over my phone.


I've gotten my replacement SIM card and now I have responsibilities I hadn't remembered, like sending in the indemnity forms for my Power Rangers. Damn.

I'm planning to buy a k618i, which will set me back some 360$. It's cheaper than a Nokia obviously, and I heard have better functions. So I'll stick to that. I really miss my orange 6280 ):


Anyway mom's cooking a storm tonight. Caramel pudding with her trademark black pepper chicken (drool Hamzah I know you love black pepper) and homemade French fries. Naz is on diet, God knows why. Haha!



It's freaking humid today. Even in the car I felt like melting. Gosh. Isn't it a good weather to go to the beach and soak up good sun and sand and sea and story book! All by myself. Maybe I'll cycle there. I'm on a save-every-cent campaign so that I can get a new phone asap, repay my mum the trip fare, get a new mouse for the worn out one that I'm currently using. The mouse wonders me, bravely working its ass off at one moment and then seemed to be asleep the next.


And I want to shop. It's addictive. I saw a pair of cargo going for 35$ and S&K, and few nice tops around. At least it's not obscenely expensive that credit cards cower at the sight of it.


There was a time when I nearly wanted to cry about my pictures in my phone but somehow the line "to everything that's happened or do not there's always a good reason behind it" managed to stop that torrent of tears. God will always have His plan for everything.


Oh well. Time to be a good girl guide and be thrifty!


When I first saw you, I said
"oh my, that's my dream... That's my dream."

I needed a dream
when it all seemed
to go bad;
Then I'll find you.

ofblack&white
6:17 PM

Hello world. I am back from one of the busiest cities, Hong Kong. It's alot of love there. Pleasant trip, with Naz and my aunt. Enjoyable. Nothing I can say because there's too much to say (:


Maybe I'll update it next time, since I foresee a huge tantrum by my computer. It was worth my money there, with my beloved crybaby and a soft aunt. Like Naz said we're quite walking jokes. Naz's infamous line at HK; "I'm not an ogre, I'm PRINCESS FIONA" which is a contradiction because princess Fiona is an ogre. What the hell I know. Haha!


Weirdly I miss having someone sleeping beside me, albeit me being abused physically and mentally. She likes to kick me under the covers, thinks I'm her free-king bolster and just make weird noises. LOL.


Kat's back and kicking! I've got few people few things, sorry if I didn't get EVERYONE a little something because of financial and time constrains HAHA.

Oh right. I lost my phone in HK. So my temporary number is 93355404. Shit I know, especially when I had sent it for repair and paid 90$ on it. SIGH.


Just now someone played with fire. I don't know what was going on her mind but she's playing with fire. Dangerous no?

And I'm scared of myself. Anyway, I'll probably update every little detail of the trip in the upcoming posts so if you want to spare yourself from untimely boredom, don't bother reading it (:


Temptation; why won't you leave me alone?

ofblack&white
10:13 PM

You can tell when I'm bored, can you? It's when there's multiple posts for a day.

I found, as usual, some old notepad with many a scribblings inside, with typical emo writings and such from the past, in a typical messy hand with a date at the end.

Honestly that sounded naff.


Anyway I do amaze myself (sorry for the small spot of flattery here) with my writings. Some are quite unbecoming of me. A bit in that twilight zone effect, your writing but not your writing, your head but not your head. Something like that. There are times that I wanted to put it up but it will sound so stupid! Haha!


An exerpt from a conversation with Michlai.


love, emo. says:
im not straight
*michelle*- says:
not str?
love, emo. says:
not straight.
*michelle*- says:
ok..
love, emo. says:
lol
*michelle*- says:
wait, wat exactly does it mean?
*michelle*- says:
haha



Ultimate blurness and innocence.


So those I gave the password to knows that already. Haha, so I am not straight. Hell. I know I'm going to hell with it that's why I am changing. God knows how much effort I put in changing but it takes some time.


And maybe we shall start with the fundamentals, like doing all the five essential daily prayers? I don't even finish them on days and it gnaws me that I am Muslim yet I am not pious enough to actually be known one.


Maybe I'll start today, and maybe the chips will fall; things will fall in place and the end result will be fine.
We can only hope.


'She's a mastermind in the creation of madness and havoc. She is Devil itself...'

ofblack&white
9:11 PM

I thought yesterday's captain's ball thing was harmless.

Guess again.


It's so freaking painful to even do my facial wash or scrub my skin. ): I guess the sun is really vengeful. And my teeth kind of glows against my skin I think. My lips are hurting and that equates to not eating spicy food for today. Annoys. All I want to do is sleep so I couldn't be bothered about the sting but hey I've work to do right now and that's kinda sucky. Lol. With body aches everywhere, right to the fingers. Gosh. I feel so decrepit.


To top it off, I haven't packed for tomorrow.
Feel screwed Ili.

ofblack&white
4:15 PM

Captain's ball. I love captain's ball. But try playing 8 games competitively under the I'm-going-to-give-you-a-heat-stroke sun. To die for please. I got black naturally. Anyway the Kent Ridge area has quite a number of pretty scenes. And food also. Maybe should go there again and discover and enjoy the beauty LOL.


I rode on Sarah's Gilera and it was so nice. Vroom vroom around! I want to get a bike. Sigh.


I haven't done any packing and study for tomorrow and my body is aching so. I drank nearly 6 cans of 100plus just now. That equates to 6$ gone just like that.


I think someone got the nerve to call me and ask for help just now. So free-king annoying.

ofblack&white
8:12 PM

I am thoroughly annoyed right now by a certain junior called TAN CHAI JING. You know how I feel like running the knife across her neck or simply stab her to death. So the seniors joined Diva La Futbol. I am quite certain she is the culprit. We did not intend to join with the juniors but apparently she told the girls otherwise and now they're planning to combine and mix EVERYONE TOGETHER. I SWEAR I'M GOING TO FEED HER TO THE BULLDOGS OUT THERE. Now they did mix up and I have to untell them that the 'alumnis' aren't joining them at the expense of sounding hightymighty. And she can say that it's because I planned things like last minute. HELLO WILL IT EVEN MATTER TO HER ABIT IT'S MY TEAM NOT HERS AARRGGHH.

I'm so annoyed that I want to run to her with a parang. Or better, go sula her.

ofblack&white
9:35 PM